“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think” - George Carlin
A lot of people around me say things that I always quietly but firmly disagree with.
1. "I have no regrets."
Nothing could be further from the truth in my life.
I simply do not understand how people can think that. Is it a clear conscience? Short memory? Both? Mega truth-twisting of epic proportions? Over 10 years have passed since I turned 18 and the avenues I've gone down that led to shame and frustration and overall Homer-Simpson-D'oh moments are as numerous as the roots under a rhododendron plant (that means a LOT, kids)!
There have been so many decisions big and small that I wish I could go back to and do differently. The big mistakes..! Oh the big-ass mistakes that were made with the rashness of youth -- mistakes I cannot ever take back.
Regret is my middle name, and that's the plain truth. I'd be lying if this weren't true. OK, so it's my story, my life, my imprint, but I am puzzled by how proudly people say that they have no regrets. Why do they preen like that when they say it? Why is there virtue in it? Is there virtue in it?
It might not be pride----it might be defiance. It's the same feverish gleam I have seen in fanatics. When I see that, I tend to back away and melt into the crowd. Fanatics are scary.
2. "I wish I could be in high school again."
Fuck, no. Uh-uh. I've been there. I feel nostalgia for the people I shared historical personal moments with, certainly, but...go back?
Go back to when my limbs grew at different rates?
--when my teeth were still slightly too big for my face?
--when I was cowed by age-ists who looked down on children?
--when I kept getting bitten by dogs including my own (this one slightly exaggerated)?
At the top of this list of horrors is the wild sense of panic at my identity and overall insecurity which I have thankfully struck down with my twenties.
So no sir, I do not want to go back to high school and its murky footing.
3. " Take me for who I am / what you see is what you get and I will not apologize yak yak yak..."
I call lines like this the Friendster profile precursor to Emo---Emo's Australopithecus, if you will.
Me, me, me. What I would do if I thought I...
Get the picture? We are all a bit guilty of this (I am a blogger after all, tee hee!), but some of us just do it too gratuitously. Others intersperse it with echoes of a bigger kind of reality, and those people I stalk like I stalk snails and dead celebrities.
This tends to come out of the mouth of cardboard people in their little, little unimaginative world of constant, extremely narrow self-introspection --- these people also tend to follow this through with the line found in Item Number 1.
Hypocrite (only somewhat!) of April 2, 2012, signing off. :p
A lot of people around me say things that I always quietly but firmly disagree with.
1. "I have no regrets."
Nothing could be further from the truth in my life.
I simply do not understand how people can think that. Is it a clear conscience? Short memory? Both? Mega truth-twisting of epic proportions? Over 10 years have passed since I turned 18 and the avenues I've gone down that led to shame and frustration and overall Homer-Simpson-D'oh moments are as numerous as the roots under a rhododendron plant (that means a LOT, kids)!
There have been so many decisions big and small that I wish I could go back to and do differently. The big mistakes..! Oh the big-ass mistakes that were made with the rashness of youth -- mistakes I cannot ever take back.
Regret is my middle name, and that's the plain truth. I'd be lying if this weren't true. OK, so it's my story, my life, my imprint, but I am puzzled by how proudly people say that they have no regrets. Why do they preen like that when they say it? Why is there virtue in it? Is there virtue in it?
It might not be pride----it might be defiance. It's the same feverish gleam I have seen in fanatics. When I see that, I tend to back away and melt into the crowd. Fanatics are scary.
2. "I wish I could be in high school again."
Fuck, no. Uh-uh. I've been there. I feel nostalgia for the people I shared historical personal moments with, certainly, but...go back?
Go back to when my limbs grew at different rates?
--when my teeth were still slightly too big for my face?
--when I was cowed by age-ists who looked down on children?
--when I kept getting bitten by dogs including my own (this one slightly exaggerated)?
At the top of this list of horrors is the wild sense of panic at my identity and overall insecurity which I have thankfully struck down with my twenties.
So no sir, I do not want to go back to high school and its murky footing.
3. " Take me for who I am / what you see is what you get and I will not apologize yak yak yak..."
I call lines like this the Friendster profile precursor to Emo---Emo's Australopithecus, if you will.
Me, me, me. What I would do if I thought I...
Get the picture? We are all a bit guilty of this (I am a blogger after all, tee hee!), but some of us just do it too gratuitously. Others intersperse it with echoes of a bigger kind of reality, and those people I stalk like I stalk snails and dead celebrities.
This tends to come out of the mouth of cardboard people in their little, little unimaginative world of constant, extremely narrow self-introspection --- these people also tend to follow this through with the line found in Item Number 1.
Hypocrite (only somewhat!) of April 2, 2012, signing off. :p
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